This is a topic ive been wanting to write about for a while now but I guess I just never really knew how to write about to others as its such a personal story for me, so lets see how this goes.
Everyone's had their share of body insecurities, and in this twisted world accepting your own body is the hardest thing to do, which is unbelievable because we all have different bodies, we all come in different shapes and sizes and we all come with different unique details so why is it that we still feel... out of place? when in reality we are all out of place and are meant to be different because if we were meant to be the same as that image in your head that you keep comparing yourself to, every single person would look the same.
I've had my share of struggling with my body, and I can defiantly say that I'm a lot stronger now than I was a few years ago. I've had body struggles ever since I was 13, as most teenagers feel at that age, they wanted to fit in, I guess that's just what I wanted but I focused more on my body and how it looked and why it didn't look like the popular girls bodies. I hated being slightly chubby, I hated my hips that suddenly appeared when I was 13, the list went on and on. I grew older and more things started to pop up, As a girl there were certain insecurities that stuck with me through those years, when I was younger I hated that I had small boobs because I thought it didn't make me look mature enough (yes this is gunna get personal so lets just roll with is ok, everyone loves boobs, you try saying the word... boobs...) then a few years later I hated having bigger boobs because I thought it made me look too fat, so these things were already going through my head from the ages of 13, I didn't want to accept that my body will change as I got older, instead... as I got older it just got worse and worse and soon I despised my own body, I hated every curve and everything that made me look like... me. I wanted to lose weight because all my friends looked different than me and were smaller than I was, so I stopped eating to lose weight, grams turned to a kilos, 2 meals turned to half a bite of sushi everyday, healthy became unhealthy, exercise became an obsession and soon... self love became self hatred. I struggled with this voice in my head that told me I would never be good enough, I spiraled down in to my own depression and did a lot of things I regret, which hopefully I can talk about openly. Through those tough years, I did everything to convince my self that I wasn't perfect and that I wasn't beautiful and that my body was the reason for the problems in my life. Now I stand stronger, I got help from my friends that loved me, I slowly learned to love myself again. I wanted to be able to look into a mirror and say "I love you" without feeling like shit, which I can do now, I still struggle with that little voice which can drive me insane but I stop it because I think of all the people who have that same feeling, that low feeling of their bodies, if I could push that thought away I could possibly help someone who feels the same way.
Bodies are beautiful, I love my body no matter, I love my curves and my thighs and the stretch marks that show my story of the stupid shit ive gone through. To the person reading this, doesn't matter if you're a girl or boy, I want you to know that you ARE beautiful, you ARE worth so much more than what you think, if you're someone whos embarrassed about their stretch marks, dont be! those lines are YOUR story, they are scars that show what you've been through, gained a little weight? who cares your body is beautiful either way and fuck the person who says anything else, if your someone who wants to hide your stomach, DONT, we live one life and dont be afraid to show your unique body to the world because you only have one, to the person who was like me a few years ago... enjoy your dinner, have that last cookie, dont let yourself go down because of a voice in your head, there's so much more to life than to worry about how much you weigh or what shape your body is in, you're alive... be alive. now, to everyone, go look in the mirror and tell that reflection "I LOVE YOU".