I always knew the things that would happen in my life wouldnt happen easily or normally, so when I fell in love, it was anything but normal.
2015, in october, this will sound so sappy but, thats when I fell in love.I didnt see this person down the street or at a cafe or at someones party, no, I simply logged on into my skype account to chat with my friend when they decided to add a friend to our call. The moment we started talking I remember thinking ''oh wow this guy is pretty funny, annnd actually kinda cute'' In my head, I knew how online relationships went, mostly due to the fact that I was obssessed with MTV's Catfish, but at the time, it felt hopeless to even try to become anything more than friends with him. A week passed and not a word from this guy I had just met, no messages sent or recived, until later that week at night I opened my skype and saw a notifaction under his name
Sol: ''Your friends are bonkers :p''
That very same night, our conversation lasted hours, we talked about the craziest topics and jokes, just the feeling from our conversations had me hooked, later in the week we decided to video call on our own for the first time, I remember feeling so nervous because I knew I liked him, thought at the time it felt like it was nothing more than just a crush from my end and he would think of me as nothing more than some girl he talked to on skype, little did I know that would all change in the months to come.The moment from our first proper skype call, we called eachother almost everyday, and talked for hours, when I mean hours I mean almost 8 hours In a day (crazy i know). I loved every second of it, I was also loving him in every second. When I first realised I had actually fallen in love with Sol was around the end January 2016, I messaged my friend Arshia telling him all my feelings about how I felt about that weirdo I met in october, how hearing his laugh filled my day and just seeing his face on the many many mega pixles on my laptop could make my heart race, I told him everything, and thats where I stopped ''oh god... i've fallen in love with him''.
The next few months were blissful, me and Sol talked everyday for as long as we could, from early morning to late nights, it seemed that we were all we had, which at the time for me was true.Dont get me wrong I had my friends that I knew would always be there but it just didnt have the same feeling ya know? when I met sol I was going through a rough time, i didnt feel happy and thought id always be this slightly depressed person who no matterhow hard she tried, would still always be sad inside, again as sappy as it sounds, he changed all of that for me and sparked a happiness inside of me that I wanted to have years ago. Coming up to april, that was when we both knew the feelings were there, god though it was blaitantly obvious, I never thought it would be true. Telling him that I liked him was the hardest part, we had already given hints about it to eachother and we actually had a set date on when we were going to finally admit it, I remember feeling so.... lovesick. Lovesick, something that made me stop eating for a weak because just the thought of him liking me made me too nauseous to even look at food, and made my head so busy with thoughts I couldnt sleep but, I loved that feeling, that slightly stomach in a knot feeling and then, that was it, we finally told eachother and i had no doubt because finally after 6 months of waiting to tell him that I liked him anf to see if he did too, it had finally happend.
June 2016, Ah summer time, my summer was filled with skype calls that were a lot different than before, more giggles and smiles and more love, we started to fall asleep on skype together refusing to hang up on both ends, which to me always made me smile, I would wake up in the morning and see that he was still asleep on my screen and i'd just smile to myself, thinking what it would be like to actually sleep next to him, to actually feel his skin one day to feel that physical spark. This is where things got harder, i've always pictured meeting him in person one day, if you remember from the beginning, i've only ever seen him through skype, 7 billion people in the world and I happened to fall in love with someone who wasnt in the same country as me (sigh). The spark between kept growing each call, after each laugh and each small cute remark, I was head over heels for him, then yet again that little sinking feeling kicked in because the reality was, I was in Portugal (at the time) and he was in Brighton, only a 2 and a half hour flight away, yet it felt like he was on the other side of the world; A few weeks in to the month of june is when our how relationship hit the start of a high peak.
Sol: I think i've fallen in love with you...
me: I think I've fallen in love with you too.
My brain was shocked, and so was my heart, I never thought he would say it let alone be the first to admit it, lets just say that night I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs, I bounced up and down smiling to myself reapting those very words 'Ive fallen in love with you'.
The rest of June went by and it was wonderful, we splept on skype nearly every night, the only downside was because it was summer, Sol was going to spain for a month where sadly, there was no internet, and I was heading to Holland a few weeks after. We skyped till the very last moment, waking up to the sound of his alarm for the flight that morning, I said my goodbyes and wished him a safe flight not wanting to hang up, the rest of july was a long painful wait.
August 2016, Probably the best month that year, why?
well it wasnt only my 17th birthday that month, it was the month I've been waiting for since October. Sol had finally gone back to the Uk in the first week of August, he was in london for a while. I brought the topic of meeting Sol to my parents countless times, and countless times we had tried to book tickets or see if we could spare some time to send me off to brighton but... that had finally all changed. Me and Sol skyped and talked about me coming over, he couldnt wait.We booked my ticket to london just a few days after that, on the 23rd I would be seeing him, just a day before my birthday (great gift huh?). Getting ready was difficult, as a girl you genuially just never know what to wear, but now add in meeting the person you're in love with for the first time at Gatwick airport... ONE SIMPLY DOES NOT HAVE A SPECIFIC OUTFIT FOR THAT, I trashed my room looking for anything good to wear, I of course settled for some jeans and a nice (ish) top, which looking back I should have gone with a better outifit but oh well.
This was it, I sat near my gate waiting, not anxiously, I didnt feel nervous, I just felt happy, which was strange as im the type of person that would literally freak out over any situation but at that moment as I sat at my gate in Amsterdam, I just felt happy.1 hour later I arrived at Gatwick, I rushed out of the plane in pure excitment, a little sweaty too as it was the summer, I made it to passport control where I took my chance to call up Sol who was waiting for me at arrivals.I think thats when all my nerves hit, we were actually in the same country, in the same place and same time, everything I wanted was just behind the desks that were infront of me. The man by the desk handed me back my passport and I was off! I walked passed those doors feeling my face flush red, I was excited but nervous. What would he be like? how tall was he actually? should I hug him? all these thoughts went through my mind as i walked through the arrivals gate, but they all stopped once I looked infront of me and saw him. My first reaction was to run up and hug which is what I was doing untiiilllll, an old lady decided to hop on infront of me making my lovely moment slightly awkward, I looked to Sol and he just giggled at me as I tried my best to swerve round this oldie, once she had passed I just hugged him, I actually felt him, his shirt and his skin, when I heard him talk his voice was deeper, he seemed like a whole different person which just added to the wonder to that moment.
I was staying with him at his flat in london for 10 days, it was nerve wrecking to think that we would be sharing the same living space for a while, but it couldnt of felt different. I met his mum and little brother for the first time, it was late by the time we arrived but we still had some energy and went out into london. Stumbling around london it was hard to keep up with him, he was much taller than I was and he walked a lot quicker, compared to my midget sized legs that had to basically run to keep up with him, he reached his hand out behind him and held on to mine, I felt my heart race as soon as our hands touched, the only time we've touched was at the airport and that alone could of lasted me months. Hours later we made our way back home, I held on to him lightly not knowing how far our physical boundries were. It was 1:30 when we arrived back at the flat, meaning it was my birthday.Sol had already placed my suitcase in his room before we left, I quickly got some pyjamas and got changed in the bathroom, everything was so new and made me feel nervous, getting changed everything just came to my mind and I just looked at where I was, Sol was waiting in his room, we were in the same place... I could walk out this bathroom open his bedroom door and he would be there, I didnt need to open my laptop or check if my wifi was fast enough, no, I just had to walk to him because he was there, and so was I.
I was brave enough to go straight and lie down next to him on the bed, we both turned to our sides and looked at eachother, I still felt awkward but it felt like I was in my place.I looked to him, not just look but really looked at him, I could clearly see his freckles and his eyes for the first time, his entire face made me just go... wow, because infront of me, after almost a year of waiting, wasnt just a person, but the person I love, we've never touched, never gone out, we just spoke everyday on skype,I just looked at him, my eye loved what they were seeing and thats when I noticed, he was lookig at me the same way. You know the way you look at a peice of art or you go out to a park and see the lovely landscape around you? that look of awwe? I could feel the way he looked at me, and slowly I moved myself closer and so did he. When we kissed for the first time it felt like it was something my life was missing yet had all along, after our kiss we both finally said the words we've said before but finally... in person.
I Love You
Fast forward to the present, as im writing this, I am now in the Hauge sitting next to the love of my life, having him read this post to check if ive made any mistakes, I wake up to his sleeping face every morning, I get to see those lovely green eyes everyday. We've been living together ever since I went to london last year, when I left he came with me, it's now been nearly 8 months.We went from being miles apart on a computure screen to being with eachother everyday, and I couldnt be happier.